How do you build confidence? | One Good Question

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All right, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to one good question. We're with

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the team today. We got Matt
Ogiekyle castro Me and Jim and Sebastian and

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we ain't got to go around maybe
give some tips. But the question is

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it's a it's a little vague,
but I think there's lessons here, and

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since I'm going on my life Coach
World tour, I think it's a good

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question for that. How do you
build confidence? And this gentleman is talking

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about even just in life in general. Hmmm. Now, I gotta I

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gotta. I gotta one ABC plan
that I'm selling. So I'll leave mine

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for the end because I have the
answer. But if you guys want to

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throw tips that helps you think there's
one answer answer, Yeah, I honestly

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do. He's I don't have a
plan. Yeah, you think I'm joking,

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but I literally do. Literally.
Yeah, I think there's a singular

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method. I don't have a plan, but I do not argue with that.

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When i'm I try to think what
I'm most confident, what I do

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that's good, oh man. When
I'm most confident, what I do is

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I basically just lie to myself kind
of like kind of but then like also

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like you gotta use it somewhere,
you gotta there has to be an outlet

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for that confidence to be used on, so like women. Yeah, So

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for those of you in our audio
audience who do not know what Kyle looks

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like, Kyle is six five,
Yes, I probably the most confidence issue

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at all. Model good looks.
Ye, tiny penis very smart. I've

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seen it. I've seen it perfect. So I would say snack like,

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I don't know, like it is
weird, Like when I'm really lacking confidence,

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I feel like I'm just a small
little dude. I don't know.

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Well, that's I think that's a
big thing when you see someone who you

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perceive as being better looking, more
athletic, smarter, whatever, whatever,

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and you assume that they have all
the confidence in the world, and you

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don't know how you're ever going to
get there. Most of the time those

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people don't have the confidence that do
you think they do? Well? Yeah,

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sometimes, but we're all flesh of
blood. I don't think there's a

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single human out there that is three
sixty five confident. And it's just not

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possible, just not And and they're
a narcissist And that's literally a mental disorder,

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like there's no such thing. You
almost like it almost like plays into

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I think a lot of confidence comes
from like your perception of what others think

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of you, for sure, right, I think that's probably the majority of

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confidence, because like, if you
didn't care what other people think about you,

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I think you'd be probably the most
confident person in the world. It's

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a weird take, but it's just
so true because again, there's so many

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messages being thrown around the internet about
confidence and success and stuff like that.

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But that take is so good in
the sense that, like we're social creatures.

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You know, we're raised in whatever
you believe, in caves with ten

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of us, or families and tribes
with one hundred of us or fifty of

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us. I forgot what the number
is. But we're meant to be around

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others. And if it's almost like
a moral evolutionary thing that you should care

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what other people think. You know, if you don't care what other people

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think, you're probably doing something wrong. You might be a sociopathic, right,

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you're probably and and and if you're
acting wild, it's because you don't

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fit in, because you're probably not
helping the people around you, right,

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Like you hear like the one black
sheep of the family of it's probably because

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they're doing some weird shit yea,
Like they don't want to fit in and

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they don't want to help the family. They don't want to be close.

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So I think it's normal, and
I think it's probably good to care about

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what other people think, because there's
a big message going around like don't care

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what they think, you know,
like, well, we're kind of built.

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You're kind of fighting yourself. You
don't like you, you're fighting the

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whole world, you're biology, the
socialization. Yeah, you're fighting everything.

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You're literally fighting biology and everything,
like we should get should it rule you?

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Probably not right. You don't want
to be like, oh if Timmy

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jumps off a cliff or you can
jump off a cliff, like not,

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but you should care somewhat. Yeah, I think it like ties into like

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uh, I mean that they don't
really clash. They're pretty similar, like

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caring what people think about you,
but then also in the same breath wanting

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people to like you, and so
like the one you can't control it all.

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Well, I mean you can't control
either of them. Kind of like

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someone just might not like you,
they might not like you. Whatever,

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but like that's what it comes down
to. Then you that's when the thoughts

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kicking, like yeah, why don't
they do this? And like I don't

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know if you have the internal monologue, like I have a constant internal monologue

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going like all day, but I
mean that's just the thought thoughts that are

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feeding into it. I would say
like when those when the internal monologue is

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like really quiet, is when I'm
most confident probably like the less thoughts or

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the more I can like see the
thoughts what going by, and I could

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like like, nah, we're not
gonna I mean that's some of the life

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coaches shit they teach too, is
like the more present you are, the

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less time you have for that inner
monologue, so less chances you have for

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those doubts and negative thoughts to creep
in, which is every human's issue,

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right, like if you're paying attention
over now, And that's kind of the

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beauty of podcasting too, is like
no one's on their phone, Like you're

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forcing into this conversation that you're not
allowed to do anywhere else. Like it's

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real rare in nowadays age. It's
gonna be real. You know, no

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one's hears once like I hope not, because we're all been pretty engaged and

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we just did the long podcast before
that. You're not sitting there like damn

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dude, what's my eyebrows are fucked
or my beard's fucked? Or do I

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look fat on camera? Because you're
just too dialed in. Yeah, you

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know, you know we all have
those thoughts, but you're just dialed in.

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Yeah, but that's my my Rispee
is just like I I yeah,

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like I guess, try to quiet
your thought and just tell yourself and just

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affirmations. I would say yeah more
so like oh, and like you can

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tell yourself not not like fake shit, don't lie like completely, like like

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oh, I'm the most confident person
in the world. You could just lead

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off with like a subtlety like uh, like, oh man, I don't

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feel the most attractive to day,
but and then just like segue, like

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like on a highway you're trying to
get off on the off ramply like all

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right, I don't feel that attracted
today, Like, oh, but you

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know what I'm gonna I'm gonna address
I say soft feel Oh I feel better

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today, and just kind of like
segue it that way a little bit.

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I think it's small shit like that. I don't think it's ever the raw

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raw I the ra ra doesn't work
for me because I could just see right

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through it, and I'll like look
at myself and be like, dude,

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you' lying to yourself, Like like
it's just me and you here, bro,

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Like like what are you doing?
Like you know what I mean?

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Like the Ray Lewis isn't in the
room. You're not trying to impress them,

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you know what I mean? Like
this is just me and you,

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dude, Like who are you lying
to? Like you can't. You can

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fool everyone else in here, not
yourself, you know. So it's like

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all right, but that's all I
got. You start lying yourself, you're

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gonna be down a dark path.
Yeah yeah, yeah. I think I've

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had two approaches. One of them
is I always like to call this atten

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minue when like find a thing that
you can accomplish successfully in a short period

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of time and get a little boost
out of that, you know, productivity.

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Yeah, just yeah, a productivity
thing whatever. And the other one

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is like visualization. It's like thinking
about accomplishing something in the way that you

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want to accomplish it, and pretty
often you know, the actual performance is

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a little different than that. So
maybe something came up and you had to

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problem solve or or whatever, but
you've thought about finishing it, like being

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successful with it. That helps helps
me. You got anything, young guns?

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Oh, I think it's like just
being honest with yourself but not being

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negative. So I try not to
use the word can't ever. Like if

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you're like, oh, I can't
do it, I say, oh,

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I'll figure it out, Like I'll
get to it. Like if I can't

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succeed on like a climber or something
of like a challenging nature, it's not

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like, oh, I can't do
it right now, but I'll get to

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it. Like I know it's not
in the cards right now, but I'm

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not gonna put myself down to a
point of where like it's never not possible.

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But at the same time, you
gotta stay grounded and be like all

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right, like it wasn't there.
I'm not gonna gaslight myself and be like,

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oh shit, I'm him. It's
just not my day. But I

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know, like it'll take time,
So being present, being in the moment

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and knowing when to be real,
like we shoot the shit. But there's

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times I'm like, all right,
yeah, like that's not real. We're

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just acting it up and like doing
whatever. And there's a time when you

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got to just check yourself and be
like, hey, that's not really me.

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This is me. I'm not feeling
good today, but I know,

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damn well, I can give it
my best shot to at least get done

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what I need to get done and
show up. I think most of the

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fight is just showing up anyways,
being in a moment, showing up,

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and then just little goal setting,
like all right, how can I get

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to that bigger goal slowly but surely, and just not put myself down.

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I was gonna say, I think
taking like small doves, like writing things

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out and just like okay, I
achieved this, and then just having like

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a bigger picture kind of like achieving
like what Jimbo said, like taking those

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little small doves and then eventually it'll
be you'll have like the bigger picture.

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Yeah. Now that's the step one
through three ABC. Ladies and gentlemen.

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It really is that simple. Like
you looks and stuff like that get a

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little weird because we're talking subjective and
we're talking in our brains and in our

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heads. But the truth to like
build confidence is showing your work. You

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know, like you was doing math, I got the answers twelve, how'd

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you get to twelve? And you
got to show all this work and confidence

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comes to repetition and success and succeeding. Kind of like sea bass and kind

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of everyone said it in many ways. If you want to be confident in

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something, a skill, a task, or whatever, you gotta do it.

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You got to build yourself up for
success, and you got to you

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gotta be honest with yourself. Kind
of little bits and pieces of what everyone

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said here. You know, Kyle's
talking about being honest with himself and having

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these conversations. You have to do
that and succeed the application over and over.

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You want to have confidence to squad
five hundred pounds, well you have

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to make a four or five squad. You got to make a four to

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twenty five double. You got to
do a four to fifty five. For

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a double, you gotta smoke for
seventy five and then you're you have confidence

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that you'll hit five hundred because you
had the work. You accomplish that work,

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and it's steps, smaller steps,
smaller wins, ten minute wins,

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whatever. It is all the way
up lifting is the easiest example, right,

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because it's that it is black and
white. You want to bench three

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fifteen, Okay, you got to
put in the work over and over to

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be good enough to bench two twenty
five for five, two seventy five for

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three, and now you're probably ready
for you know, to at least attempt

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confidently. When you start to deal
with yourself, it's the same thing,

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but the scope gets a lot wider. Things you say you're gonna do,

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you gotta do. All right,
I'm gonna wake up every morning and I'm

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gonna shower work for ten minutes,
blah blahah whatever you set out for yourself.

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Every time you don't do that,
that's like a weakness in your armor.

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Right, you say, all right, I'm gonna wake up and I'm

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gonna uh this year, I want
to eat no carbs and I want to

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walk five miles every single day.
Well, every day you don't do that,

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you're lying to yourself. When we
talk about going down that dark path

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of literally lying to yourself, and
you're just gonna become less confident week because

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the truths aren't there to build upon. You build upon those truths over and

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over and over, and some of
them may be superficial at first, and

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that's what I do. That's why
I'm into clothes. You know, some

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of it's superficial. But if I
look a certain way still to this day,

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since like third grade, I lay
out my clothes every night before the

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next day because I want my fit
to look good, because I know that's

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gonna help me carry myself a certain
way to speak, a certain way,

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to act a certain way, and
accomplish all these little things I have set

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out for the day. So I
think all the answers from all you guys

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was great. And depending on what
you're trying to be confident. But trying

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to be confident in life is just
showing those works over and over and over.

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And Yeah, I wake up in
the morning and think I'm a piece

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of shit and I'm never gonna make
it. I'm gonna go homeless, and

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I'm gonna be weak and broken,
fat and ugly and die alone and all

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those thoughts crawling into my head.
Yeah it's true though, and everyone else

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out there has it too. You
know, like, if you're a conscious

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being with some any depth, you're
gonna wake up one day and not feel

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good that something bad is gonna happen
and you're not good enough and you're not

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gonna make it. But the lights
turn on one day. Yeah yeah,

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if you if you keep going,
it's only gonna get brighter. And there's

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gonna be another bad day. And
there's gonna be another bad day. And

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you know, if you go through
a dark time, like you know many

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of us have been through dark times, there's gonna be ninety out of those

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one hundred days will be more negative
than positive. But if you stop,

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then you're gonna be stuck in the
dark. If you keep going, maybe

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we switch that scale again to the
fifty one forty nine and we're gonna have

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more positive days than not. We're
gonna switch that thing around. But all

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those things affirmations. I'll be quoting
Denzel from fucking Remember the Titans to myself

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every night before I'm going to bed, You'll think ray lewis in my head,

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like going crazy. All that kind
of stuff I think adds up as

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much positive as you can bring into
your life. Who you surround yourself with,

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how you dress, and I don't
care how you dress. You could

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dress like fucking Marilyn Manson, but
if that makes you feel good dressed like

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Marilyn Manson, you know, it
doesn't really matter, but choosing to dress

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a certain way, choosing to express
yourself a certain way, choosing to be

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put together, whatever that means for
you, matters, because I think a

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lot of people say, like,
oh, you dressed that way because it's

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trendy, or rappers do it,
or you know that. I don't care

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how you dress. But making a
conscious decision to present yourself to the world,

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going back to us being social creatures, I think matters. Dressing a

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certain way to make your internal child
a young adult adult feel cool and good

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matters because it's going to represent how
you move through the world. And most

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success and most confidence is based on
the feedback we get from the matrix.

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You know, you can't, you
can't be just like confident inside and then

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fucking from what nothing outside? Yeah, like our world is what's happening in

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my head is just as much in
this world as it is in my head.

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Uh talking to Gandalf or not Gandolf? Fuck fucked it up. I

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was on a roll dumble door double
doore, Dumbledore say Gandal's up there too

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now, But Harry Potter says,
uh, Dumbledore, is this real?

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Or is it all in my head? And Dumbledore says, Harry, just

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because it's in your head doesn't mean
it's not real. That was a bar.

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He was dead too. I think
he was dead when they were on

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the fucking cloud nine. Well,
they weren't alive. They were in the

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hall. They're on the good They're
in the heavens hall. Little Voldemort was

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on the under the bench or remember
that. Yeah, but they were they

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were in the heavens when they Yeah, he was in the like the like

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the heavenly halls. Yeah, they're
all yeah, yeah, I don't know.

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I don't know how much which lord. Something called me Voldemort Kirby.

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That's fucked, dude. She said, I didn't know Volde got posted a

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picture of me when I was fifteen
with a big head, and she said,

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I didn't know Voltimore ran my gym. Yeah that sucked up. He

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should not be named, ok,
but he I don't think so she hurt.

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00:14:43.600 --> 00:14:56.200
What are we talking about? What
she's pronouned Voltemort? He check his

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00:14:56.240 --> 00:15:01.279
Twitter bio got that work though,
he did get that worded Neville. Bro.

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00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:05.559
That's a bad motherfucker. He were
never but like never, no,

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00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:09.240
never funk that ship up up the
steak. Yeah, but like long bottom

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00:15:09.240 --> 00:15:16.759
man need some sugar. That was
running and he was up. He was

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up top number one. He should
not be named for for years. Bro.

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00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:24.519
That's a good run. So you
him? They then where can people

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00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:30.039
find you? Matt? Uh Matt
Yeah, Instagram hs stot bouldering, let's

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00:15:30.039 --> 00:15:35.960
be ready teasing my two is two
tease me two instagrams, a little too

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00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:43.480
much tea on Instagram? Three three
of them the film to see. Yeah,

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00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:46.600
I told you he has like twenty
yeah, three of them. Don't

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00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:50.519
get active. That's crazy man.
One of the active because I just owned

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00:15:50.559 --> 00:15:54.039
that. I just posting fans.
Yeah yeah, yeah, but I got

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00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:58.080
two the only fans two plus the
only fans. That's weird too, Okay,

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00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:00.919
got it, God, I got
it. Well, I'm about to

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00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:07.799
dip my hole. You're welcome for
that trick. It's basically plug wanna go.

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00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:14.759
Kyle Underscore Castro with two o's is
a very common name. Apparently someone

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00:16:14.759 --> 00:16:19.360
did our meet named Kyle Castro.
Yeah and Fidel Yeah, uncle shout out

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00:16:19.399 --> 00:16:26.240
to uncle fanel shout out. Yeah, he has got the same blood.

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Maybe he's looking up at us right
now, right now, he's there with

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a Dumbledore and Harry Potter him Sebastian
Underscore brand below on I G Ladies,

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00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:40.240
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so
much for listening to new episodes every Wednesday

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00:16:40.279 --> 00:16:42.720
and Friday. If you guys want
evidence based supplements to get you right,

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Lesion Athletics dot com used code Good
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dot c O for all your apparel
needs Thirstree Barber. If you're in sircrament

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00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:52.000
Uncle, check us out and I'm
sorring like where you want to find me

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00:16:52.759 --> 00:16:56.320
Jim McDean and all the social media. This show is fifty percent facts percent.

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It's a word that fifty is just
numbers. Fifty percent facts is a

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Spreaker Pine podcast podcast in association with
iHeartMedia on the Obscure Celebrity Network. And

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we'll talk to you next time.