Is it ok (or creepy) for guys to talk to women in the gym? | One Good Question

0:10 I always thought, was it like Love Island? Uh, whatever those shows are. Colleg was just watching. Was the MTV one Rental Control Parental Control? That show is crazy? All those dating shows, there's something so interesting about them that all the streamers always do, like blind dates or different dating shows. I always thought, like a super fitness one would be really interesting, I joked, but I told Barty could do it with me if you want, yeah, or like bro, it would bring It's not been done before. That's what I literally told bart. I was like, Bro, like just bring in, like yeah, like muscle mommies and whatever interview style you want, blindfolded or behind a thing or like you they rate they they want to date me based on my deadlift or whatever stupid ship you come up with. Yeah, we do a dating show. Mike's like, okay, I'll do it. Fine ship hot muscle mommies and me. All right, dude, I'll volunteer. How many of them are not gonna know who you are? None? If they're if they're like under the age of thirty, probably none. Okay. I mean even in our era, right, like chicks were into this, but there's make Squats is like the only chick YouTuber.

1:11 Like now there's girl YouTubers and influencers everywhere. Back then, there's like two can't swing a dead Cat. It was like Nicky Blacketer and and and and squad Age. She's after age. Range could go pretty wide too, like you do, like the New super Into, like the fine typical bullshit that oh yeah, I don't even listen and they don't care. She's just name it chicks. But she's new too, but she is. They're like that middle class. They're like twenty sixteen, okay, yeah, like in our era, there's none. There's a lot of people that don't. I mean, you could have people that are ye, twenty years old just getting into fitness. I'm like dating, No, not for you. The Dating Show. I was like, that's a stretch cas for his own head right now, dude. But you have them, and then you have next season people that are like even i BB pros that are over over forty, the Silver Fox, Muscle Mommy. Essentially it's just a sixty five year old.

2:01 Usually it's the Man by seven Fox right Yeah yeah, yeah, well you'd be in it too. He'd be looking for love. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's been dedicated to the gym for forty years. Now it's time to dedicate to a woman. Yeah, that's the you need to learn, and then he can get some pointers. Maybe at that point, like you need to stop what you're doing and sell the sixty five year old pick me. And so that's what he is before the If he was born fifty or forty years thirty years later, he'd have the tripod and the Oh he'd be Guzman. Yeah, he'd be in the corner by himself flexing. Yeah, but he came. He was too into the gym too early, and now he's a loser. He should do it though, that's a good idea, right, Yeah, we'll be the first contestant. Yeah, he was doing it before it was cool. No, dude, you'd kill it'd be fun. Or the button gave the cut on the Budget game with Avy just you know, you literally could just with fitness people. What is the button game? Button game is like you have like a blind day. You just sit two people down and then you can ask questions or they send in prompts sometimes I think, and you ask a question and as soon as there's a ringer like a buzz, the first person that yeah, the first person to hit it stays and dumps the other one and then if don't want to date them, and then if no one touches it, they end up continuing the day they take a second date. OK, so you sit there, yeah, guy clips everywhere a guy comes up, and then like you'll talk for a second and then the button will go red and like you can either hit it, they can hit it, or you both just sit there if you both like each other all want to continue. Let's bring this into a question for the Friday episode to wrap her up dating. The old golden rule is

3:37 don't talk to chicks in the gym, right. That's the old golden rule, which I think is actually stupid, right in the sense that if you're now gym culture is different. The type of gym you go to matters, right, Obviously, the type of person you're going to approach matters and what they're doing and their energy. And I'm not saying just go approach every woman in a gym, but if you're about this lifestyle twenties or thirties or forties doesn't really matter, but especially in your twenties, thirties, even thirty five, let me know, Yeah, well get a day, a little younger, if you're ms are open eighty one if you especially for pictures. Yeah only if you're hot, good credit score, household homeowners only a dog, that's a bonus, yes, please. You are expected to just go to a bar to meet someone. Yeah, right, so if you're trying to if you're really about this lifestyle, you probably don't go to that many bars if any Like, where are you supposed to meet someone? You know?

4:35 We have couples in here in the gym that have either met here or or definitely have brought their significant other here and workout, Like it seems so normal to try to meet someone like minded out a like minded place. It's like, you know what I mean? I agree, I percent. And whenever I hear that like the whole don't approach don't talk to girls in the gym, I've always been like, ah, like, there's there's nothing wrong with it. It depends on how you approach them. And that applies to anywhere, grocery store, whatever, a bar. You can't like honey, like, that's not gonna work either. Be respectful, kind, start like, don't be awkward, don't be Yeah, it's just like do it in a nice way become friends with them first and then so they get to know them more. Everything you named is way more difficult to do than for a lot of guys, and they're scared shitless. And there is a process. There's a process right to dating. There's a process to approaching someone. There's a process on evaluating when's a good time to say hi to someone that's guy, girl or the other. Like it doesn't really matter, not even dating wise either though, like just to make a friend, though, there's a time and place to say what's up. All those things come before, Like don't approach them in a gym, and that goes for both ways, right, because some girls do that forgot to guys gyms, right, but I think the gym's like the best, like especially and it depends on where you live, right, Like we're all California people, and like the cities and stuff's a little different. But like I'm not gonna go talk to a girl at the gas station. She's gonna mace me, you know what I mean?

5:59 She reason in college, it's it's it was college because like college gym all college students or college class, the cafeteria, like you're made to talk to people yeah, but at the at the gym too, it's like you'll see, I mean any gym usually you'll see the same people over and over again, and then you'll be like, oh, this person's consistent. They have a similar lifestyle. The gym is clearly a priority for game with me, right, But then like it says a lot about like discipline or motivation or lifestyle choices that are very similar in a line, and they're more like they they clearly prioritize their health. And then you check their resume head over, head over to Instagram. You see what they're really about. That's your resume, that's your dating profile, and then you search that a little bit.

6:43 Essentially, the pool of people that, like, all my friends that I met was mostly through if not like classes, it was mostly through the gym. And it makes sense people, Yeah, I met most of my friends, and then when I talked to right, it's like through the gym, which is kind of sad, But no, I don't think it's sad at all, because what's the opposite like made about a house and then you have nothing in common besides you love to chug beer, Like you have nothing in common beside you love to just go to callege together. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, like go Waggy's majority of the time I'm spending like how many hours in the gym a week? You know, Like, yeah, it's much more like class. I think it's not crazy, particularly since I understand that LinkedIn is becoming kind of a dating size. You're right, thanks for telling me. Guys, obviously none of you care about me, it is though, right, Yeah, I need to go I need to go in there and update my profile a couple. You should mirror picks. You should find a little lawyer mommy exactly, any lawyer muscle mommies or surgeons or some ship do the lawyer muscle. You're talking about a percent of a percent of that's that's what I deserve. No, there is a there is a someone in the parliament community who is a lawyer and known like for being a lawyer in parlifter. Yeah it's like, yeah, I forgot where her handle is a lifting lawyer, Yeah, something like that. She's followed us for a long long time. Yeah, she's all she's she's buried in his kids now, but you know she was single one and she started following. I'm just saying there is a niche out there for you. Thank you. Yes, insanely wealthy, empathetic, great glutes, good credit, and what do you

8:16 have to bring to the take squeeze me, friendly eyes. I have all that plus some oh great glutes. I have good glutes. Well, I think I mean something that that Kyle was saying here, though, I think that there's too many people period, guys more, but people period who don't know how to have a conversation with somebody that they don't know. Number one and number two. I think that they put too much on it. They make the steaks too high. I think the sticks are not that highly or you don't do it enough. It's just like anything else if you don't do it right. If you build up this chick for a year and you never talk to any other woman, and then you go talk to this chick, Yeah, your heart's gonna bring Let's just say this. No one's that cool.

8:58 Just do it, like welcome to Abby's dating class. But I think they're so afraid, not necessarily of rejection. I'm sure like guys that like everyone's been rejected, right, but like well, I'm sure like they they don't want to be seen as like the creep and they also know that person's trains around the same time. There's a lot going on now they're like, damn, I could ruin the social dynamic with everyone else in the gym and this and that. But also another side note, women have no game, but true true tweet tweet. They're horrible tweet. Their game is hey, yeah, that's it. Yeah girl, any girl that's me is kind of like that, hey, bunch of Why if I give a hay out there we get a response? Forty, I said Jessica Biela. Hey, I never got an answer. Yeah, No, I don't get it. I mean I do get it because they're usually approach first and they never have to do the game. Guys are like, this is like this is life for death. I have to spread my seed. Yeah, life or death.

9:58 Your saying guys are good at No, guys are good either. They should be. They have to be. They have to they have to be, they should be. That's the only way they're getting even a conversation right where the girl doesn't have to be. Girls have way more to choose from. You have to understand, like, girls have way more options. Guys. We can count on one hat. Now, how many times we've been hit on? Is that true? Kyle? Yeah? That Kyle's like why, I mean the bus with you, but like how many times a girl would straight go up to you is way less than au And like if that doesn't happen, like I'll have like because I know a girl at a bar or whatever, and like we kind of know each other whatever, then like they'll follow me and then they'll DM me and be like, oh, I was afraid to come talk to you. That's usually like what girls do. Girls are like they won't contact you first, or they won't come up to you, and like it's rare. That's why whenever you hear a woman that does that, it's like a guy will tell a story about it or something like that it's an exception, yeah, Or the stories girls talk about are the ones where guys do it in a very nice way or very respectable way.

11:03 Sure, and then they still rejected them, and they still like, oh he was nice, So what what can a guy say didn't look like it's not creepy. It's usually just in context, and it's not just backspots, no spot your warm up? You're like, what that's offensive? They Oh, do you mean a spot you have like one yeah I've read and be like get out here, brok. The best way I can go about it is like make it completely not about them approaching you at all. They could come of like let's say you're like squatting or something like that. They could bring up anything like are these the TSSs we're gonna use for the right? Yeah, you gotta break the ice. I say something to ask them stupid question you already know the answer to, or help them load a plate and then walk away after have you seen the sky as the blue lately? Yeah?

11:50 You load the plate and just sprints away and really stupid. Hey, fat penguin? What fat penguin? What did you call me? Fat penguin? What? What is fat penguin? Just something to break the ice? Oh that's good. See dad joked like she's got a laptop on his left. Is funny, am funny. He's probably got an Excel sheet of all the boys and all the options checked out. I was gonna say, like, I don't know if we could you know, such an expectation for the kind of comedy that you're gonna get from that person for sure, Like we can I don't I mean, we can cut this out or whatever. But I think it's fine. I think it's not a rip. It's fine.

12:35 But I was gonna ask Abby, like, has there been a lot of members or like prospects out of like DMB. Not a lot, but I mean, like, is it like, Okay, she's a little intimidating. I am scary. I'm a scary person. People don't approach me. It's probably your height. Yeah, that's the times. And have you done the opposite? Have you, like DM like a guy hitting on a guy, or approach in person? I start conversations, I have gotten person in person, I will do what I just said. Right, it's just like like a question or a conversation in passing, just like saying something or like hey like your shirt. You're probably the last generation though, but below Abby, we're fucked. I think it's they're they're they're they're where they learned was in COVID. Oh yeah, I think about being sixteen in COVID. Yeah.

13:18 Now you're twenty and you're at a bar, and you're twenty one at a bar and you're supposed to talk to a chick. You're fucked. You're fuck. Yeah, that's probably true. There's social isolation. What's your success rate of like getting them to continue talking to you and like see that they have interest in you. I don't know how to like you say, it's more so than not or fifty fifty you got you got, you got nine white lights up line sixty forty seventy thirty. I don't know, eighty twenty, it's probably eighty twenty. Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know. In the gym, can you approach a woman and say, hey, I really admire your you know, the commitment that you have to to sculpting those pieces to be in good shape, or like you're a good technical lifter from what I can and see it, I really appreciate seeing. Don't be so professional about it. I got another one. Hey, is your boyfriend gonna spot you? Or should I spotch you? Like I don't got a boyfriend I don't need in that case, Actually a professional fun very obviously not work at all. That it wouldn't work. Some things are like, oh, they're obviously hitting on me. Things are like oh, maybe they just do want to know, like where I got my lifters from? You like the mystery man? Or are you running somebody's program? That's yeah, do you a coach or something you have a coach? Yeah? Anything really anything like not relating to dating looks or anything like that. I think I think that's like a no go off the bat always you never talk about looks because then like their intentions, I mean, I feel like it's not slimy, like

14:50 if their intentions are like man, I really like this girl, I want to talk to her, and like they downplay themselves, like to not show that obviously, like that's the way they gotta do it, Like they have to do it that way. I mean, if they come out the gate hot, you're like, oh, like all right kind of yeah, seem a little desperate. Also, that was too hot, like yeah, you don't even know me, right, test the waters kind of thing. Guys don't have that issue. If a girl comes up, they're like, oh, what's up? Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, I got here's my numbers. You want to get married? Alright? Literally, Like it's like that, it's crazy. That's what's scary about it. For for a girl's sake, It's like if we just want to be nice and just like sort of conversation. Yeah, you can't talk to a new person in the gym if I like, I hope someone move, I'm like, I just don't want hopefully don't take the wrong way because I'm being nice, right Yeah, yeah, but that it's hard. Yeah, but you got to do it anyway because you work here. Yeah, and they still don't unpersonally because I'm scary. I'm a five f't scary person. I think I just have a It's also just the confidence too, Like I'm confident in the person that I am, so it makes it easier to approach people that I want to or like I don't know, the other way around, or people don't want to approach me unless they have the confidence to do so. I don't know, Aura, Aura Energy Spirit. Do you want to be approached and find the love of your life in the gym? Oh? I mean, now you're making a very spific like the forty nine ers, because like that's where it seems like the gym has been off limits for a long time. The initial statement was like it's always been like, ah, do not. I don't know if that's real or the internet, because I'm sure if you ask a lot of couples who're like, yeah, we did meet it the gym,

16:22 you know what the internet makes it like a thing. Right. It's funny because like you see that online and girls like, yeah, don't talk to me because they're like, like, I know I'm hot or whatever. Right, but if their dream dude came up and spotted them with the dumbest line ever, they'd be stoked. And girls have gym crushes too, And when I hear them say that, I'm like, well, I don't think it's that weird. Does that make me a hoe? You know, like, am I easy? Because I'm like, I don't care if you talk to me in the gym. Just don't be weird, anti, don't be awkward, don't be don't don't say anything uncomfortable for the both of us. Let's be friends first, see if we can have any chemistry. So hard for people to do that, for sure, Even like even if it's them meeting a like a new friend that's a guy, there's still like, oh, I don't want to seem weird to like this new friend I made in the gym, you know. Yeah, yeah, they're still thinking that way too, So yeah, making friends just like guy friends. Yeah, And then you get so confident that you're just like, oh, yeah, do you want to work in whatever, or you give up on girls altogether tho.

17:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah, then you used to start an online dating show and to find love. Yes, ask your best friend to start online dating show for you where you are the what is it called a bachelor? Yeah, fitness bachelor. What would you call it? The show? I don't know this. It'll always come off corny, you know, that's the best part. Like Love Island sounds pretty corny, But a lot of a lot of fitness folks actually ended up on there because they justcrib really hot Instagram people. I think, like Rob Lip said, was on there show my boy Rob Rob was on there for an episode or two. Do you go on there? I don't maybe, but i'd probably be like Rob. Rob is probably the nicest human I've ever met in my life. And I think he got booted off the show in like one episode because they all do gossip and drama and like, you're fucking her and I'm fucking her and we hate each other and they have fake fights and Rob's just so nice. I think you got like voted off in an episode. Yeah. He made everybody feel uncomfortable about themselves. Yeah. Yeah, And he's a very good looking man.

18:03 Good looking. He's just like a normal guy, Like you're too normal for this. Yeah yeah, but I think other people too in the fitness space were on that show. He was in the UK one. But looking forward to seeing you start your show, I think so, who knows if it will happen, it should what kind of dates would it be? Just like straight like that's what, Yeah, you gotta find up. Yeah, you gotta find the like one little gimmick. I think it'd be like a good one to do, like uh, like to close off a section of barbaro bagate or something like that. Ye, Like you guys do a workout together and like see how Yeah she puts me through a workout. Yeah, and then I rate her and then you rate the workout. You missed the hamstring? Yeah, yeah, that's why you're quad dominant bitch. He gets super stiti. She's like, all right, the date, this is a horrible workout. You're a glueless that'd be fun, all right? So Abby, dms are open. Also say hello to her at the gym. She loves being spotted and loaded. Coles are also open. Mine are not open, totally open. I open them for you. What she got Abby ram at a dot lo and maybe taking clients. Maybe not inquire, and she'll inquire if you're a good athlete. She got you're a good am at Sebastian Big Guy the dating Guru Instagram. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't date at all ever, Kyle dot Castro definitely listen to this. Ladies and gentlemen, New episode Wednesday and Friday. Thank you so much to be dot CEO for all your apparel needs. Come by their stree barbell and talk coming out California. We'll go. I'll catch in the next one. I am Matt J. Mcdee and all the social media that shows fifty percent Facts for percent is the word and the fifty is just numbers. Fifty percent the Facts is a speaker, Prime podcast and association with like our media on the

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