Rewind: @Trippadvice on where to meet girls

WEBVTT

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And we're back this week with another
rewind episode because I am not on this

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continent at the moment, but you're
here. But I'm here right this moment,

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this moment while we're recording this,
but when you were seeing this and

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listening to this, I will not
be Are any of us truly here?

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I don't know. I don't know. The older I get, the more

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I wonder. You know about this
whole thing potentially being a simulation, you

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know, I mean, that's one
of the theories they just can't prove right

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or wrong. Yeah, it never
will. It could be so I might

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think I'm going to Europe, but
I might not really be going to Europe.

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It's Paul, part of the simulation. Yeah, I just needed to

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be unplugged so I could go to
Europe and like the snap of a finger

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rather than an eight hour flight.
Oh, I wish it was only eight

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hours. Fourteen is I don't know, And shit changes all the time.

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I'm actually hoping that there aren't any
last minute changes to the flight tomorrow.

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It's a long, long day and
a lot of weather in the world.

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But like, if I'm not wrong, I think we fly over the Pole

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to get there, so oh,
shit sort of. I don't know.

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I don't know. Hopefully I survived
this trip and these aren't like the last

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times you'll ever see me on camera
or anywhere else. But we'll see this

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episode. As as we were saying
some we're doing some some rewind episodes back

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to the earlier version of the show. This episode was from October of twenty

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nineteen with Trip Creamer aka Trip Advice
on dating, and this particular episode was

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about the best places to take a
date. I want to we're talking about

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fast forwarding now right we're in twenty
twenty three, like what's stands the test

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of time and what doesn't. Dating
Not that I'm some expert by any means.

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I literally just live in my house
alone all the time. But online

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dating otis assume, has only gotten
more popular. I was twenty nineteen pre

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COVID, yeah, and then even
post COVID, Yeah. COVID obviously made

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it more difficult to just go to
a coffee shop and meet someone. And

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then two, we're just getting more
and more socially fucking weird, and we

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live on our internet. So I
assume I don't know the app numbers,

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but I bet you the dating app
numbers are skyrocketing. Well, I particularly

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like winter of twenty and twenty one, there were a lot of people who

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were looking for like a pandemic buddy. They were like somebody you know,

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like like fuck buddy, but pandemic
buddy, somebody that you could you know,

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feel relatively safe to hang with for
um ever, yeah, apocalys.

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Yeah, And I wonder how any
of those like survived or whatever. I'm

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curious about that. I don't have
an answer for that, but I bet

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not good. Same with like the
dogs. I've been fake looking to adopt

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a dog for like three years,
not fake, but I just got a

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commitment issues. But every dog was
getting swooped up. Yeah during COVID correct

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and hopefully they have wonderful lives now. But I have feelings that many are

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probably back stray people were not um
as committed to the idea, or they

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get back to regular life and don't
unhandle a dog with a regular life when

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you're not stuck at home all day. Yeah, or yeah, they're just

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not home period, which not every
dog can deal with that. Yeah,

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And like I would imagine that it's
just like with a with a partner um

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that at the time, what you
were looking for was somebody that you could

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just stick with and somebody who wanted
to be stuck with. Yeah, wanted

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to have some und all the time, as opposed to kind of the natural

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breaks that you get when people go
out of the house for work or whatever.

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Whatever. Yeah, anything, I
do wonder something weird, and maybe

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I'm just out of the loop.
But it feels like social media's pop up

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all the time, and whether they
fail or not. Like Kick is a

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big one that's going on right now. It's like a big streaming service.

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Um, Kick is back. It's
a different kick different kick dot com,

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not kik. No, it's a
big like Twitch rival. Oh okay,

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um, but I haven't heard of
any social dating apps pop off. Oh

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you know. The one I had
ever heard of before was Hinge. Yeah,

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that's been around. Kinge been around, bubblemen around, Tinder been around.

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And sure there's like fucking Christians Meet
and cow Country Farmer dot com.

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But I don't know if those are
even real. But you would just assume,

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because I think dating online has gotten
more popular, that more people would

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be banking in on that idea.
You would think, I M just have

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from this one particular story that I
heard would I would always be a very

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circumspect about something like Christian mingle because
people use the whole religion thing as a

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way to connect with people, whether
or not they're actually committed to it,

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probably you know what I mean.
And there's like I think that that Christian

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mingle might be the one that has
the most like like scams, and yeah,

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all of them seem weird and scammy, like who identifies that hard as

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a farmer? That are only going
to dat a farmer? That's weird.

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Yeah, I could get that.
You would need somebody who's whose um career

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was pretty adaptable though. Yeah,
I mean on TikTok, I'll get ads

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for like jim buddy meat dot com
and shit, oh really they're just random

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shit like oh there's a new dating
app and it's from my Jim Bay.

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It's just a I assume they're fake
as well, or scams, I would

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imagine, so I don't know,
fuck them all anyway. We had fun

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back then talking to Trip and we
hope you enjoy it right now, and

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we'll be back with you next week
with one more rewind and back on Friday

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with a topic thunder and we'll be
back with fresh episodes in mid April,

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may or may not be the furthest
I don't want to say reach, because

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this was the goal the whole time, when you, even when you approached

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me to pitch the show, to
get outside of Fitness New Tea, not

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only because I think there's the basics
that the world knows. Although there is

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some great science going on figuring out
new things and tweaking details, but the

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basics and fitness and nutrition are pretty
locked in on how we can help people.

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We expanded a little bit into the
psychology of it, the psychology of

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athletes, which I think is probably
a bigger piece into the issue of fitness

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and nutrition, especially when applies to
the everyday American and our epidemic. And

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so hopefully we'll go down that psych
route a little bit more and find some

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cool, interesting topics. We half
stepped into olive oil with my mom,

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which is not fitness and nutrition,
but it's food, and it's always say

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there's a nutrition component, there's definitely
yeah, we make that argument. Yeah,

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And we talked about those things.
So I think today may mark the

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day we dive one. I don't
want to close a chapter. Maybe we

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turn a chapter or apostrophe dot thing
or something. But we're moving on and

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we're gonna try to explore some things
that maybe the everyday human wants to know.

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Definitely something that I mean, you're
married, so yeah, and I

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have been forever well you know,
and in that sense, Uh, you're

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you're probably more of an expert on
this topic than I. Uh, we're

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gonna talk relationships. We're talking about
boys, girls. I think mostly today

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we're gonna start to attack things from
the male perspective, but we'll see what

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our guest has maybe on the female
perspective. A lot of you listening out

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there. Although we love the ladies
that listen, there's a lot of dudes

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that listen. There's a lot,
so yeah, Sophs are mostly dude.

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Yeah. So we're talking, Uh, we're talking dating. We're talking two

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thousand and nineteen, almost twenty and
twenty. Geez, Louise, Um,

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how or where? In particularly where? And I say how because I'm thinking

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dating apps is the first thing that
pops in my head. Um to meet

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people? Plenty of apps? Yeah, yeah, how do we do this?

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Where I feel like, Um,
this conversation and this question actually came

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up simultaneously with arranging this guest.
Um I was doing. We had a

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little party in LA. I was
just in Los Angeles saying, I was

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bart Kwan, my sister, GEO, and and the rest of the Barbara

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Gade team. And I think I
was just talking to my friend Demi,

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who runs Barbara Gay, she manages
the gym. I was talking about how

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she met a girlfriend. Um,
they've been together a while now, maybe

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two three years, super serious all
this and it was on an app.

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And then I asked Barton Geo when
we were talking about it, and they

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met through mutual friends. And and
right there, my easy logic is like

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generation gap, Like these girls are
like twenty three Barton Geo or mid thirties,

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right. I think my parents probably. I think they told me a

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story they met through mutual friends.
And then the conversation just started to freak

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and unfold with everybody. Yeah I
know, Um, I know somebody,

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some couple in my sphere I don't
know, met on match dot com.

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Yeah, um, I know that. I'm pretty sure that my friend who's

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a minister met his husband through an
online dating thing. I think online dating

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too is old. I remember being
in high school and plenty of fish and

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stuff happening in the scheme of the
Internet's it was fairly early they did that,

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And I wonder how those apps do
are those web pages websites do you

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compare to now, like the Tinder, the bumble, the all these things.

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I wonder if they're going way down
because I'm pretty sure bumble tenders completely

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free. Where I think of some
of those apps or some of the excuse

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me, websites cost Yeah, like
a plenty of fish, you have like

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a ten dollar a month or something, nothing crazy, but um, obviously

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everyone's on their phone as well.
I feel like there's maybe a premium level

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of Tinder. Probably is now,
I'm for sure there is. Yeah,

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for sure there is, um but
I wonder and I wonder how those playing

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a role, because then then and
then our conversation rolled into and we were

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all just speaking from firsthand experience.
And I'm not like much of a dater.

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It's not like I have buddies that
like are single and they'll they'll,

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you know, data girl for a
couple of weeks, day another girl for

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a couple of weeks, or just
have multiple dinners or you know, talk

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to That's not really what I do. I kind of hang. Yeah,

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I just hang out by myself.
That's about it. I don't really go

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out. And so that's what the
conversation led to. Next well, like,

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oh, especially an older generational judge
like, oh, you met on

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the internet, Like that's weird or
something, even though I met most people

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on the internet nowadays, because where
you meet them, then you feel a

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vibe. Like I don't go to
bars, so that one time I go

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to a bar, what are the
chances that I do meet someone that me

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and her are on the same wavelength
Because she likes to go out every weekend.

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I definitely don't like to go out
to a weekend. One person brought

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up the point that everyone does.
What if she got dragged out by her

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friends and she never goes out either
someone. I'm like, it's already one

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in a billion. I'm gonna actually
like someone. It's one in three billion

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that I'm actually gonna talk to someone. Yeah, and then that chance beyond

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that is going to be the one
time she went out in the last six

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months. Also, like I just
doubt that. Yeah, it seems like

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that would be a really random occurrence. I should throw in my My older

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son met his wife playing final fantasy
on line. Yeah, it's not anywhere

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near the same hemisphere you know,
at the time. So that's a that's

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a thing. No, it's for
sure thing, and it's probably even more

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of a thing now than even when
they met. Yeah. I mean they

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probably met maybe eleven twelve years ago. They've been married for like ten years.

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No, So yeah, um,
I was gonna say, that's you

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just made every gamer in the world
so happy. I know, a chance

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that is a good story. I
mean it's possible, it's only for sure,

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but you have to be um,
I think you have to be open

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to it. Yeah, I mean
he was. He had kind of a

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long term chronic pain issue and he
so he was definitely not a go out

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type. If he was going to
meet somebody, it was gonna have to

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be easier than yeah. Yeah.
Um, And I don't know. I

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was never particularly outgoing. I have
a problem being outgoing, like in situations

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where the where there's there's none of
that. You're just trying to, you

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know, make connections with people,
potentially network whatever. I'm not good at

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that. I was at um Um
podcast movement a few weeks ago, and

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I intention only like forced myself to
have conversations with people because it's just not

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me. You know, if somebody
comes up and talks to me, that's

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fine, but initiating a conversation is
rough. Going from yeah, we talked

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off air and we can get into
some of this too, But I've talked

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about my anxiety and things that go
through and I'm gonna go see someone again.

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I saw. I've been to a
therapist my whole life as a kid

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up until like teenagers, and haven't
been as an adult. I'm gonna go

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back. But I think I'm like, uh, split personality sometimes because there's

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occasions I've been in nothing's different in
the environment where I literally won't talk to

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a soul depending on my mood or
depending I won't talk to a soul even

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if they're talking to me. I
probably seem like a dick and I don't

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mean to be. I just don't
know what to say, or I feel

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awkward or words aren't flowing right.
And then there's other times where I'm the

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guy like introducing everybody talking everybody and
nothing and nothing for myself. Analysis is

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different in the situations other than something
inside me is different. Sometimes yeah,

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not, then it's not life for
the party it's just sometimes I can talk

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to anybody and this even goes.
It's like going to a restaurant. Sometimes

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I can like make a joke and
talk to the waitress waiter. Sometimes I

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literally won't just say a word other
than I order and then just sit back.

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Well, you know, it's that's
a weird thing because I experienced some

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sort of the same thing sometimes and
sometimes I I can be like halfway witty

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and try to engage people or being
be engaging or you know, you can

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kind of feel it when you're there. When you're there, you gotta yeah,

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it's like I'm doing okay here.
That's kind of what I liked about,

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even though I dread them often expos
or things of that nature because everybody

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like um rumpy, But like you
can just kind of say anything to anyone

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if you're doing lighthearted. You know, like there's lines and people everywhere at

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the Arnold, and you can make
like a little protein joke or a flex

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joker something to anybody, and you
know it's gonna be taken okay where like

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in every day if it's not like
that because people are stomping along their way

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grumpy or like or a Disneyland thing
or certain places like that there's a vibe

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like you're talking about, where everyone's
like kind of in a good mood and

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you can kind of make a joke
even if it's not funny or the biggest

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thing for me is there's never intent
behind any of these. Like I'll flirt

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with a waiter, I'll flirt with
a waitress and I'm not even thinking.

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It's just how I like joke and
talk sometimes. Yeah, I think the

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difference and hopefully we'll dive into this
maybe intent of where you're going. Obviously

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these apps have intent. I think
people go out to bars with a lot

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of intent. I think that they
do too. Yeah, and I don't

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I don't know. I don't know
anything. I don't know. That's why

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we're having this, guess because I
don't know what the hell I'm doing.

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Well, back to into I'm gonna
get back to intention just a second.

220
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But I was at UM. I
was at the Spartan Big Spartan World Spartan

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race thing in Tahoe last weekend with
UM. Went up to have dinner with

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the Iron Radio guys and they're fifteen
thousand people there. Yeah, I was

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on Instagram. I saw how many
people were you were there, you imagine,

224
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you can imagine there's a lot of
hooking up going on in an environment

225
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like that, even though people know
they have to. There's an athletic performance,

226
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so like that the Olympics, they
give out condoms because people are mingling.

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Yeah, m I was gonna say, anyway, back to intent,

228
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what I keep hearing and keep reading
articles about about how hook up culture is

229
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kind of killing relationships because it has
optics around it, and it has like

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who you hook up with is people
judge you based on that, but like

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you can't in your your get into
a hook up situation, but it's ere

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in and you're out and there's no
Yeah, it's interesting because the term it's

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a small world or whatever, it's
been around for who knows decades, but

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the world's only getting smaller with social
media and niche things, and so like

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the world feels tiny. I think, I wish I remember the quote John

236
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Mayer said it, but it was
it was so good about how many eyes,

237
00:16:03.240 --> 00:16:07.799
how many people you interact with on
a day, has multiplied by exponential

238
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numbers because of social media. Of
course, we're going to have more insecurities

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and more mental issues because of that
because you're only supposed to come in contact

240
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with twenty people a day, and
then now we're doing one hundred million people

241
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a day or whatever or potentially that, And so I think the same thing.

242
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Maybe even with hookup culture or the
idea of starting relationships or whatever,

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the world just seems so small,
it seems different. Another stat that I

244
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randomly heard, obviously, marriage has
gone down. Marriage rates are the lowest

245
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they've maybe ever been in America.
And some of those ties are to financial

246
00:16:42.120 --> 00:16:48.000
stability or financial attraction in a male
in particular. So how like what age

247
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and how much money guys are making. And I don't think it has to

248
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do with this guy makes a million, he's necessarily more attractive than the guy

249
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that makes half a million, although
there may be studies on that as well.

250
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I'm not going to argue that.
But this one more had to do

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with um just being able to have
like a real relationship in terms of potential

252
00:17:06.680 --> 00:17:11.240
marriage. If you don't have enough
money, then the relationships probably not serious

253
00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:12.680
enough, because like, how we're
going to live together, You're gonna take

254
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care of each other. And it
maybe it went male female, but um,

255
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I think in particular was females looking
at males. We when my wife

256
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and I got together, we had
no money. We literally had no no

257
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money. We were broke as fuck. That's just it's just the way things

258
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were. Yeah, people got married
a little younger back then I met.

259
00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:33.799
Yeah, yeah, we got married
really young, but much earlier than we

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00:17:33.839 --> 00:17:38.160
intended to. It's what was really
young. I was twenty one, because

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I feel like I feel like I
just turned twenty one. I feel like

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twenty one to twenty five was the
norm. Yeah it was, but we

263
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yeah, we didn't intend to get
married quite that young, and we certainly

264
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didn't intend to have kids that young. We were. The target was,

265
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you know, thirty, yeah for
having kids, and I was twenty three.

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You know, just one of those
things. It happens. Rolling back

267
00:17:59.480 --> 00:18:06.039
to xpose a little bit. Another
thing about exposum for us is that a

268
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percentage of people knew who we were
already. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

269
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they're predisposed to whatever or there's something, yeah, something going on.

270
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Like I've done seminars where maybe people
didn't know who I was, but they

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heard there's a deadlife seminar. And
then like you're kind of in a position

272
00:18:19.880 --> 00:18:25.079
of authority, then I can be
like the guy or coaching basketball camps.

273
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I've done all that, and then
I kind of put on a hat.

274
00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:30.359
They're like, all right, I'm
the starter here. Like if I don't

275
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talk, if I don't do,
no one talks, No one does.

276
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So I have to you have to
perform yourself again. But though with the

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intent, like I've never I don't
think I've ever gone out to a bar.

278
00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:42.000
I are like I swear, and
all these people, guys and girls

279
00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:45.000
are probably gonna not believe me,
but I swear I've never gone out to

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a bar or a club thinking one, let's go get laid or two let's

281
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go get a girlfriend. I've never
done that once. And maybe that's why

282
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I don't enjoy those things. Maybe
that's why the guys enjoy them because they

283
00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:59.440
feel this chase all the time.
But I've never once gone to a club

284
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or bar and time to hook up, time to find wife. Not once.

285
00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:04.920
Yeah, you just kind of go
to have a good, good time,

286
00:19:06.039 --> 00:19:07.319
hang out with friends or whatever.
You would never in a million years

287
00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:10.839
ago by yourself. No. Yeah, And if people are going to have

288
00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:12.039
a drink and I get dragged out, I go and have a drink.

289
00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:15.279
Great, and sometimes I do want
to go out and like chat or whatever,

290
00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:18.480
but yeah, not not once,
And maybe that's kind of again intent

291
00:19:19.880 --> 00:19:22.160
and then intent on where the same
thing with the internet, though, Like

292
00:19:22.200 --> 00:19:25.799
I've never gone on like Instagram and
said like all right, time to find

293
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:30.039
a wife. Like that's never passed
my head either. I guess I've never

294
00:19:30.839 --> 00:19:36.960
even like pursued pursued these things.
Yeah, and I wondered too, when

295
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:41.920
you're going to a bar, you
may encounter people who are, you know,

296
00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:48.039
more or less sober. Yeah,
I was listening to uh, Malcolm

297
00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:53.160
Cladwell's new Thing about his new book. He's talking about how alcohol affects people

298
00:19:53.200 --> 00:20:00.599
and new studies showing that people don't
reveal their um don't actually reveal their yourselves,

299
00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:04.160
their real selves on using alcohol,
They become somebody else. Yeah.

300
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:10.160
Yeah, like a bunch of latent
personality stuff kind of clicks in and they're

301
00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:15.319
a different person when they're drinking,
And so the chances that you're gonna like

302
00:20:15.480 --> 00:20:19.920
the person they are when they're sober
or vice versa could be an issue.

303
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:23.279
Yeah, there's varying degrees. I'm
sure some people may be very similar and

304
00:20:23.359 --> 00:20:27.440
some people may be exact opposite.
There's speed dating out there, which some

305
00:20:27.519 --> 00:20:32.559
people swear by and some people swear
at dating is weird what I just thought

306
00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:36.920
about intent and how I've never pursued. I feel like dating is the only

307
00:20:36.960 --> 00:20:38.519
thing people say like, oh,
yeah, just let it come to you,

308
00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:41.799
right, People always say that,
except that kind of really doesn't.

309
00:20:41.839 --> 00:20:45.759
Well, I feel like nothing in
life really does. Like what if you

310
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:48.000
told me you want to go get
a promotion and make this amount of money

311
00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:49.039
or have this job, I would
never say, let it come to your

312
00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:52.559
gym, like it'll just happen.
They'll say like, oh, yeah,

313
00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:53.599
then you have to set that goal
and work for it. Maybe we should

314
00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:56.880
look at these steps where like no
one talks about that in a relationship,

315
00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:00.920
like if you want that, yeah, like if you want a real relationship,

316
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.720
or if you want to meet someone
serious or have a deep connection or

317
00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:04.839
whatever, I find a partner,
like, yeah, you kind of have

318
00:21:04.839 --> 00:21:07.559
to work at those things. They
don't just happen. Yeah. Actually,

319
00:21:07.759 --> 00:21:12.160
you know. Another thing that I've
noticed over the years is that I've known

320
00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:18.200
guys that were that were engaged to
women and then for whatever reason, the

321
00:21:18.240 --> 00:21:22.680
engagement fell apart. Sometimes it was
him, sometimes it was her, Sometimes

322
00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:27.880
it was life but it fell apart, and so many of those dudes get

323
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:33.079
married to somebody else within six months. Yeah to a year, they're going

324
00:21:33.160 --> 00:21:36.319
to get married. They're ready.
Yeah, they're just ready. Yeah,

325
00:21:36.359 --> 00:21:40.759
and they're you know, when you're
ready. There are a lot of solutions,

326
00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:44.039
sure, there's sure. Yeah.
Some of them a good idea,

327
00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:45.119
some of them less of a good
idea. Yeah. If it's something you

328
00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:49.440
want so bad, regardless of topic
right now, his relationship, you will

329
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:55.880
work harder or ignore things. If
you don't have any transportation, Yeah,

330
00:21:56.119 --> 00:21:59.319
and you want a freaking car,
you're not gonna be picky that it's blue.

331
00:22:00.119 --> 00:22:02.200
No, especially if you don't have
a lot of resources. Too.

332
00:22:02.200 --> 00:22:04.039
If you've got thirty K and you
also really want a car, you're going

333
00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:07.519
to pick your perfect color. And
I imagine that's just a little bit of

334
00:22:07.559 --> 00:22:11.000
human nature. Yeah, just make
it work. There're a lot you know,

335
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:18.559
they there's a lot of talk about
the perfect person for that doesn't necessarily

336
00:22:18.559 --> 00:22:22.640
exist, and it isn't necessary.
That's really interesting and maybe we can get

337
00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:23.839
even a deeper philosopher. So I'm
going to talk about that because I have

338
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:26.960
a lot of friends that are married. That's a no. We just worked

339
00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:30.279
and we're compatible, or I believe
that there's multiple people for you, And

340
00:22:30.319 --> 00:22:34.039
then I have multiple friends that are
married happily for a very long time and

341
00:22:34.119 --> 00:22:37.799
say like, yeah, I knew
this was the one, because I understand

342
00:22:37.799 --> 00:22:41.160
someone saying that six months in the
relationship because it's all romantic, and also

343
00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:45.000
maybe like, yeah, yeah,
for sure the one, but years into

344
00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.599
it's still saying that. I'm pretty
convinced. I've got to ask that question

345
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:53.319
by somebody a mutual acquaintance of ours
within the last couple of months, and

346
00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:56.599
my answer was, well, I
was just comfortable. Yeah, it's just

347
00:22:56.640 --> 00:23:00.079
comfortable. I was maybe that's the
feeling for the most part stables being myself.

348
00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:03.039
Yeah, and maybe that's the feeling. Each person's feelings maybe different when

349
00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:06.519
they know quote unquote no the one, Maybe there's not the one, but

350
00:23:06.680 --> 00:23:08.480
yeah, your feeling was that you
could be one thousand percent of yourself and

351
00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:12.599
maybe someone else's feeling was they loved
one thousand percent of that person, or

352
00:23:12.599 --> 00:23:18.440
who knows what. So anyway,
I guess our our question on this particular

353
00:23:18.119 --> 00:23:22.400
episode of these two that we're trying
to do is where to go they find

354
00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:26.519
either maybe maybe your hookup for maybe
your love and maybe yeah, exactly,

355
00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:30.599
and I don't necessarily think that they're
the same place. That could be wrong,

356
00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:33.240
right, I could be wrong.
I don't know either. But anyway,

357
00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:36.160
that's uh, that's the question you're
going to pose. All right,

358
00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:38.759
let's dig in yep. Cool.
Before we hop into the questions, you

359
00:23:38.759 --> 00:23:41.200
want to give us a quick rundown
and maybe who you are and what you

360
00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:47.640
do for our listeners. Yeah,
totally, Trip Kramer. And I'm a

361
00:23:47.759 --> 00:23:52.160
dating coach for shy men. And
what I do is I help guys become

362
00:23:52.200 --> 00:23:56.519
more confident with women so they can
attract the kinds of women they want.

363
00:23:56.599 --> 00:24:00.279
And I have a formula that teaches
them how to do that so they can

364
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:07.200
get consistent dates, have an active
dating lifestyle, and you get girlfriends.

365
00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:11.079
Awesome. That sounds um, I
don't. I don't want to speak for

366
00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:14.599
our audience, but I know that
there are probably some guys out there in

367
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:19.519
that situation. Let's just say that, all r. Yeah, the way

368
00:24:19.559 --> 00:24:22.960
we're set up basically, we want
to do basic two segments with you or

369
00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:27.440
too, like two questions and we've
already front into these things ourselves, so

370
00:24:27.440 --> 00:24:33.880
we're gonna like ask you the question
we'll wrap, we'll do like your social

371
00:24:33.920 --> 00:24:37.599
media and whatever, and then we'll
do this second question. Okay, all

372
00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:41.079
right, so um, the first
question we have for you is this,

373
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:48.359
like, what are the elements of
a good place to meet women? All

374
00:24:48.440 --> 00:24:52.079
right? So here's here's here's my
answer. And I get this question a

375
00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:56.079
lot. It's gonna sound funny,
but the answer is wherever women are.

376
00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:00.200
Okay, that's a lot of guys
are. Really it's it's so basic,

377
00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:03.319
but I think that guys. But
here's the thing. You know, guys

378
00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:07.079
are like, oh, they judge
places. They will judge a place.

379
00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:11.039
You know, I only want to
meet a woman, you know, naturally,

380
00:25:11.359 --> 00:25:15.519
over like at a grocery store.
I only want to meet her over

381
00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:18.400
apps, becoming too scared to go
out. I don't want to meet a

382
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:22.440
woman at a bar because that's where
party girls go. So what I say

383
00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:26.799
is, there's all types of women
everywhere, so you gotta go where they're

384
00:25:26.839 --> 00:25:30.839
at. So one place where they
congregate is online, naturally, right,

385
00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:33.880
lots of women are online, they're
on apps, are on dating sites.

386
00:25:33.759 --> 00:25:37.599
But I've also found that a lot
of guys they don't get a lot of

387
00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:40.880
success there. And also there's so
many women, by the way, that

388
00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:44.720
are not on those sites, and
also even the ones that are you might

389
00:25:44.720 --> 00:25:47.319
not match with, so you might
be forced to meet women in person.

390
00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:49.720
So where do you do that.
I would go where the most women are,

391
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:56.759
so they're going to yoga studios.
Yes, so yoga. I definitely

392
00:25:56.799 --> 00:25:59.359
think it's a great place because there's
a lot of women there and they're usually

393
00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:03.720
beautiful, they're fit and healthy and
things like that, so yeah, do

394
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:08.039
that. But there's also only like
twenty women in a class. That's like

395
00:26:08.200 --> 00:26:12.079
not that much. So I would
say, yeah, if you're interested in

396
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:17.279
doing yoga, go to yoga and
then also benefit you can talk to some

397
00:26:17.359 --> 00:26:22.759
girls afterwards, but also go where
more women are, so they're walking around

398
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:26.200
during the day, they're going to
malls, they're at bars, they're out

399
00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:33.759
and about wherever they're congregating in your
town in mass numbers, that's where you

400
00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:37.759
should try to do some approaching and
meeting women in combination with you know,

401
00:26:37.839 --> 00:26:41.720
being on like one app and maybe
one dating site. So that's kind of

402
00:26:41.720 --> 00:26:45.319
my answer. There's not like a
best place to meet them, it's just

403
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:51.000
you want to have lots of options
and opportunities. So wherever they're hanging out

404
00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:55.119
the most boom there you go.
So in a way, it's kind of

405
00:26:55.160 --> 00:27:00.319
like you probably probably familiar with sales
funnels, like, yes, the more

406
00:27:00.440 --> 00:27:04.880
leads that you get, you know
what your conversion rate is and whatever.

407
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:10.240
So maybe sort of the same thing. If you're going to a place where

408
00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:14.640
there are more women, or you're
you're getting out to places where you meet

409
00:27:14.720 --> 00:27:19.759
more women than the possibility of actually
meeting somebody that you want to date goes

410
00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:26.839
up. Yes, And I like
that analogy because sales and dating there's oddly

411
00:27:26.000 --> 00:27:30.680
very similar. But yes, you
want to get a lot of leads into

412
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:33.920
your funnel. So like, okay, I used to say, you know,

413
00:27:34.440 --> 00:27:38.359
yoga classes were great places to meet
women, and while they still are,

414
00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:42.519
I would say, like yoga or
the or the gym is a great

415
00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:48.440
place to meet a woman if you're
already pretty good at meeting women. Otherwise

416
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:52.759
you're gonna go to a yoga class, you're gonna have the opportunity to maybe

417
00:27:52.839 --> 00:27:56.039
speak to one or two women,
and the odds are that it's probably not

418
00:27:56.119 --> 00:28:00.640
going to work out, just because
there's you know, a lot of women

419
00:28:00.680 --> 00:28:03.039
that you're going to be talking to
where it's just not going to be a

420
00:28:03.039 --> 00:28:07.039
great conversation or it's not going to
flow right whatever, So yes, you

421
00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:11.400
want to go where there's more leads
and more opportunities because you're just not going

422
00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:17.839
to connect with everybody. Are there
tears like that? Like someone who's maybe

423
00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:22.920
more comfortable talking to women are starting
conversations places they would go. Obviously,

424
00:28:22.960 --> 00:28:25.960
the numbers game makes sense. The
more people you meet in life, the

425
00:28:26.039 --> 00:28:29.240
more chances you are to find,
whether it's dating or even a good friend,

426
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:32.359
right, because you're filtering through people
you like or don't like. But

427
00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:36.319
is there places where's where's maybe a
couple you already mentioned the mall? Maybe

428
00:28:36.359 --> 00:28:38.319
bars? Where are some places that
people are very shy? Because I know

429
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:45.000
a lot of friends successfully and unsuccessfully
only try to date online. Where's where's

430
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:51.720
like a beginners where's a step one
location or two? I think it's hard

431
00:28:51.720 --> 00:28:55.160
to give you one because what I've
learned from working with so many clients is

432
00:28:55.240 --> 00:28:57.039
that every guy is different. Right. So for example, right, there's

433
00:28:57.400 --> 00:29:02.640
daytime approaching, and there's night time
approaching. Nightime approaching is going to be

434
00:29:02.839 --> 00:29:07.759
bars, parties, networking events,
clubs, things like that. Then there's

435
00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:14.400
daytime that's going to be grocery store
sidewalks, malls, popular downtown areas where

436
00:29:14.440 --> 00:29:18.519
people are walking. So for example, like in Los Angeles, that's going

437
00:29:18.599 --> 00:29:22.720
to be like the Santa Monica Third
Street Promenade. In Chicago, it's going

438
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:26.799
to be you know, Michigan Avenue, places like that. So it's funny.

439
00:29:26.839 --> 00:29:30.440
I get some guys who are more
scared to approach at night, and

440
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:34.680
they feel more comfortable doing it during
the day because the nighttime is super overwhelming

441
00:29:34.680 --> 00:29:37.680
to them. There's music, there's
a lot of people. Daytime, it's

442
00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:40.640
kind of like, oh, you
go and approach one person, and it's

443
00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:42.960
kind of like easy because it's one
and done and over. And then I

444
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:47.000
get some people who are like,
oh my god, going up to a

445
00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:49.640
girl during the day out of nowhere, saying hi to her. She's busy,

446
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:55.319
she's walking somewhere. That scares me. But going to a bar for

447
00:29:55.359 --> 00:29:59.079
them is maybe a little bit easier
because girls are more prone to talking because

448
00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:03.000
it's the more social environment. So
it's kind of fifty fifty. So if

449
00:30:03.039 --> 00:30:04.519
I were you and your guy listening
to this and you want to give it

450
00:30:04.559 --> 00:30:08.480
a shot, I would try both. Whatever one seems a little bit easier

451
00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:15.359
to you just focus on that.
And obviously the easiest place in terms of

452
00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:18.680
anxiety, for example, is going
to be online, right because you don't

453
00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:22.799
have to you know, you can
just be like taking a dump and like

454
00:30:22.839 --> 00:30:25.480
swiping and talking to girls and like
it's not a big deal, right.

455
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:30.039
But I also found that a lot
of guys complain that they're not getting the

456
00:30:30.119 --> 00:30:33.960
matches that they want, so and
I just want to side note this real

457
00:30:33.039 --> 00:30:37.279
quick. If you're a guy right
now and you're on you're doing online dating,

458
00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:42.960
and you're not getting the matches that
you want, I really urge you

459
00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:48.519
to try meeting women in person because
right now online dating has become so saturated

460
00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:55.480
that unless you're a very good looking
guy with this amazing profile, and even

461
00:30:55.519 --> 00:31:00.559
then you're only going to get so
many matches. So unless you're killing it

462
00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:06.279
online dating, meaning you're getting like
three dates a week and it's going well

463
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:10.000
for you, great, stick to
that. That's obviously working. But if

464
00:31:10.039 --> 00:31:12.160
you're not at that level and you're
a guy who's trying to date and meet

465
00:31:12.200 --> 00:31:17.000
women, I highly urge you to
go out and try to do more in

466
00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:22.400
person old school type approaching. It's
really it's pretty awesome and it works really

467
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:30.359
well. Do you have to coach
your clients to to get past the expectation

468
00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:33.640
that they're going to go out one
time and meet the one girl and then

469
00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:37.599
they're done and they don't have to
keep going through the process. I think

470
00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:40.680
a lot of people think that there's
like just one person for them, and

471
00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:44.279
you're gonna, you know, they're
gonna meet that person and the heavens are

472
00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:47.000
going to open up and you're never
gonna have to worry about that. Again.

473
00:31:48.359 --> 00:31:53.279
Here's what I believe in my experience, what I've learned is that I

474
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:56.960
don't believe in the one. I
don't believe in soulmates. So this is

475
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:00.519
actually something that's talked about. It's
called the soulmate myth, the myth that

476
00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:05.519
there is one person for everyone.
I don't believe that. I think there's

477
00:32:05.559 --> 00:32:09.599
just I think that's been something that's
been created by movies and society and things

478
00:32:09.640 --> 00:32:15.720
like that, and I think that
really there are so many women you can

479
00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:17.799
connect with, so many women you
can fall in love with, and I

480
00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:21.640
can prove it right like I can
prove it right now. Let's say you

481
00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:25.440
meet an amazing woman, she is
your soulmate. Holy shit, you guys

482
00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:31.319
get together. It's incredible. Everything
works out so well. You get you

483
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:37.599
get along, sex is great,
you have kids, everything is perfect.

484
00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:42.440
This is the one and then not
to go dark, Boom she dies,

485
00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:47.240
she drops dead, struck by lightning. Are you telling me that because that

486
00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:52.160
happened, that's it. You're done. You're never going to be able to

487
00:32:52.160 --> 00:32:57.160
find another woman who's amazing. Of
course you are. Of course you are,

488
00:32:57.400 --> 00:32:59.880
and people do it all the time. So I don't want guys to

489
00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:02.799
ever think that. But I will
say this. I will say this,

490
00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:07.200
there are a lot of women out
there, and most are not going to

491
00:33:07.279 --> 00:33:10.400
be ones that you're going to be
able to connect with and really enjoy.

492
00:33:10.599 --> 00:33:15.480
I believe that there are very few
out there where you do have a great

493
00:33:15.519 --> 00:33:19.720
connection with and do get along with
and are very attracted to. So I

494
00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:24.359
do think in some ways it is
special when you meet someone who you guys

495
00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:30.799
just like, really instantly connect.
However, I do feel that if you

496
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:36.119
put the energy and effort that most
guys unfortunately don't put into dating, you

497
00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:38.640
know, I do feel that you
can there's plenty of opportunities to be able

498
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:44.440
to find that person, and find
that person over and over again if so

499
00:33:44.559 --> 00:33:47.839
be, Yeah, we were talking
about that kind. Is there a soulmate

500
00:33:47.920 --> 00:33:52.960
for everybody? And then in regards
to dating, it's weird because I think

501
00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:55.319
guys in particular, maybe not girls
as much, but I can't really speak

502
00:33:55.440 --> 00:33:59.680
on there and behalf as much.
But guys always say like they'll say something

503
00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:01.720
like, um, like yeah,
it'll happen when it's supposed to happen,

504
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:05.720
or you'll meet you'll meet her when
you're supposed to meet her, or something

505
00:34:05.759 --> 00:34:07.440
like that, you know what I
mean. But like you would never tell

506
00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:10.480
an entrepreneur that. You would never
tell a basketball player that, like,

507
00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:15.039
yeah, you'll get good at basketball
when it's supposed to happen. So yeah,

508
00:34:15.079 --> 00:34:17.159
it's a little bit of a Jesus
take the wheel kind of area where

509
00:34:17.960 --> 00:34:22.159
it doesn't necessarily work out that well
you could, you could crash or just

510
00:34:22.119 --> 00:34:24.840
alternately, do nothing. Yeah nothing
sit there, Yeah, I mean,

511
00:34:24.880 --> 00:34:28.840
do nothing, be nothing, nothing
happens. Like that's how it works in

512
00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:31.360
every category of life. But for
some reason, in dating or love or

513
00:34:31.400 --> 00:34:35.559
whatever you want to call it,
I feel like people don't see it that

514
00:34:35.599 --> 00:34:38.960
way. Yeah, it's it's weird. I think it's so funny because I

515
00:34:39.039 --> 00:34:43.360
completely agree with you, and this
is like it's interesting to me too.

516
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:46.800
It still blows my mind, Like
why why why dating? Why in this

517
00:34:46.920 --> 00:34:52.039
area? Why? By the way, why in one of the most important

518
00:34:52.119 --> 00:34:54.440
areas of your life? Were like, if you're this is for a guy

519
00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:58.679
who's looking to get married and have
a family. For that guy, like,

520
00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:01.719
one of the most important decisions you
can make is finding a good partner.

521
00:35:01.960 --> 00:35:06.559
Right, if you don't, your
life could get really messed up.

522
00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:10.039
Divorce is bad and having kids with
the wrong person is bad, and I

523
00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:14.599
can get it really bad. So
why wouldn't you want to just really,

524
00:35:15.360 --> 00:35:17.199
you know, put a lot of
effort into finding someone. I think it's

525
00:35:17.239 --> 00:35:22.679
again, I think it's the way
society is, and I think it's the

526
00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:27.320
way the media portrays love, and
I think it's the way that we consume

527
00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:30.159
pop culture. And that's how it
just appears to be. And it's like

528
00:35:30.159 --> 00:35:32.480
no one's fault, Like I don't
blame guys. I was like this too.

529
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:37.480
It's like you just grow up and
you're just thinking like, yeah,

530
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:40.039
it's just supposed to happen, like
it's serendipity, and you meet a lot

531
00:35:40.039 --> 00:35:44.199
of people where that's how it happened. That's how you hear the story,

532
00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:46.519
Oh we met at a party,
Oh we got introduced by a friend,

533
00:35:47.079 --> 00:35:52.079
you know whatever, like it just
kind of happened, Like you don't hear

534
00:35:52.159 --> 00:35:54.280
people being that proactive with it.
Now it's a little bit different. Now

535
00:35:54.280 --> 00:36:00.320
it's like we met online and that's
you know, perfectly normal too. But

536
00:36:00.719 --> 00:36:05.280
also let's look at the statistics.
In my opinion, I think the divorce

537
00:36:05.400 --> 00:36:08.440
rate is not the reason, but
one of the reasons why the divorce rate

538
00:36:09.079 --> 00:36:14.360
is so freaking high is because I
think that there's a lot of people who

539
00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:17.800
didn't put enough energy into finding someone
that could be a good match, and

540
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:22.440
I think that they settled and they
found that, oh wow, this is

541
00:36:22.519 --> 00:36:27.159
really not a person that that was
a match to begin with. And how

542
00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:30.920
easy is it to settle because you
know, for guys, it's like they

543
00:36:30.960 --> 00:36:32.639
found a girl and the girl likes
them, they like them enough, and

544
00:36:34.159 --> 00:36:37.159
you know, it's like easy,
but then it all falls apart. So

545
00:36:37.559 --> 00:36:42.400
what I'm trying to do is trying
to change that. I'm trying to get

546
00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:49.719
guys to understand that you can be
able to be more proactive in this area.

547
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:53.000
It is an important decision and Also
guys don't realize this. You can

548
00:36:53.039 --> 00:36:59.079
get good at this, Like you
can build a skill to be able to

549
00:36:59.199 --> 00:37:04.639
be more active, to be able
to learn how to trigger attraction when you

550
00:37:04.679 --> 00:37:07.239
meet a woman to get her more
interested in you. And then you could

551
00:37:07.239 --> 00:37:14.159
also learn a fi filtration process to
find out which woman is going to actually

552
00:37:14.199 --> 00:37:17.400
be good for you instead of just
letting it land on your lap. So

553
00:37:17.400 --> 00:37:22.920
so you're you're helping them develop a
little bit of mastery in such a way

554
00:37:22.960 --> 00:37:25.480
that their self esteem improves, so
that they're not going to make a stupid

555
00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:30.239
decision because one person found them interesting
and they feel like nobody else is ever

556
00:37:30.320 --> 00:37:36.079
going to find them interesting. Totally, totally. If if I had a

557
00:37:36.119 --> 00:37:42.000
magic wand and can go up to
any guy and remove all ego, all

558
00:37:42.159 --> 00:37:46.519
fear and then have and then send
them out in the world to meet a

559
00:37:46.559 --> 00:37:52.280
woman, they would be incredible at
it. Incredible even if they were a

560
00:37:52.280 --> 00:37:55.800
guy who look wasn't making much money, wasn't that attractive whoever, I were

561
00:37:55.880 --> 00:38:00.920
to just hit this magic wand with
I mean, they would be unstoppable.

562
00:38:00.119 --> 00:38:06.199
A lot of guys they overthink things, they let themselves get in the way,

563
00:38:06.119 --> 00:38:08.639
They have low self esteem, they
have low confidence, they overthink and

564
00:38:08.639 --> 00:38:15.880
then they don't. They don't are
unable to put their best selves out there,

565
00:38:15.880 --> 00:38:21.239
and they are unable to meet women
because they're just so scared, because

566
00:38:21.239 --> 00:38:25.199
they really don't have respect for themselves. So that's that's part of you know

567
00:38:25.280 --> 00:38:29.719
what we try to do remove that
so we can get them out there more

568
00:38:29.719 --> 00:38:31.599
comfortable, and that's a women are
attracted to. Women are attracting to the

569
00:38:31.599 --> 00:38:37.920
guy who's just comfortable around women.
Do you do you have to coach them

570
00:38:37.960 --> 00:38:43.199
out of feeling like if they particularly
I would think in person, going out

571
00:38:43.199 --> 00:38:50.239
to like gatherings, places that seem
a little more obvious that they might be

572
00:38:50.280 --> 00:38:52.679
looking for somebody and feeling like,
oh this, you know, they're going

573
00:38:52.719 --> 00:38:55.400
to be judged. Women are gonna
think, oh, they're just trying to

574
00:38:55.440 --> 00:39:00.480
hook up. Um, they don't. They're they're not substanti so they don't

575
00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:05.159
want anything more than just you know
tonight. Do you have to coach them

576
00:39:05.159 --> 00:39:10.440
out of a reticence to be in
that situation where they're going to be I

577
00:39:10.480 --> 00:39:17.360
guess, vulnerable and judged for looking
like they're insubstantial, shallow. I mean,

578
00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:25.639
I don't think that's an interesting question. I don't think that that that

579
00:39:25.679 --> 00:39:30.440
should even be a thought, you
know what I mean. I just think

580
00:39:30.480 --> 00:39:35.360
that women when when a woman meets
a man that she's attracted to, she's

581
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:37.960
going to be attracted, you know, so whether that be at a bar

582
00:39:38.119 --> 00:39:42.920
or nightclub or during the day.
And plus the things that I teach guys

583
00:39:44.199 --> 00:39:49.559
is just how do you communicate and
how do you meet a woman without appearing

584
00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:53.440
sleazy in any setting at all.
So it doesn't even matter, you know,

585
00:39:53.480 --> 00:39:58.159
where I throw them into, It
doesn't matter where where the you can

586
00:39:58.360 --> 00:40:04.800
literally anywhere. They're always going to
come off as just a confident dude who

587
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:08.440
just knows how to converse with the
woman, and it's never going to come

588
00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:13.000
off in that shallow way. Do
that answer your question? Yeah? Absolutely,

589
00:40:13.119 --> 00:40:15.920
Yeah. We talked about right,
Yeah, we talked a lot about

590
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:17.960
like intent, and like I have
a bunch of buddies. I don't know

591
00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:21.679
why, I've just never been this
way, but they're they would have the

592
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:25.400
intent going out purely to whether it's
get laid or meat a chick, and

593
00:40:25.480 --> 00:40:30.199
like I just never had that intent. H And so like in a way,

594
00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:31.920
I guess with your magic wand it
kind of gets rid of that because

595
00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:35.480
that's kind of part of the ego
part or whatever. Maybe, but a

596
00:40:35.519 --> 00:40:37.559
guy's just going out like, yeah, I'm just gonna go meet chicks.

597
00:40:37.559 --> 00:40:38.880
To you, we're going to the
bars where all the chicks are, rather

598
00:40:38.920 --> 00:40:43.599
than like I'm gonna go out,
have a good time and just converse with

599
00:40:43.679 --> 00:40:47.440
people. Um, I think the
intent behind that will kind of filter out

600
00:40:47.880 --> 00:40:52.239
maybe how you're received. Does that
make sense? Am I right in?

601
00:40:52.719 --> 00:40:57.239
Yeah? I think so. Yeah, Yeah, I mean yeah, basically,

602
00:40:57.639 --> 00:41:01.280
I mean, you know, my
my goal is for guys to not

603
00:41:01.320 --> 00:41:06.800
get rejected. So yeah, I'm
not going to teach them any kind of

604
00:41:07.320 --> 00:41:12.480
weird sleazy pickup lines that are very
obvious to women. You know, it's

605
00:41:12.519 --> 00:41:15.880
more of like a natural approach.
I mean, I'm not against guys going

606
00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:21.840
out and trying to have sex with
women, you know. I mean women

607
00:41:21.920 --> 00:41:24.639
want to have sex too, Women
want to have casual sex also. You

608
00:41:24.679 --> 00:41:29.199
know. The only the only thing
is that women just don't want to feel

609
00:41:29.840 --> 00:41:32.760
like slutty, Like they just don't
that that's the problem. Like, and

610
00:41:32.800 --> 00:41:37.679
I feel bad for women, Like
I wish that this wasn't an issue.

611
00:41:37.679 --> 00:41:39.679
It's a terrible double standard in this
society. If a guy has sex a

612
00:41:39.719 --> 00:41:43.599
lot of girls. He's a player
and he's a pimp and he's cool.

613
00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:46.480
If a girl has sex a lot
of guys, m she's looking at a

614
00:41:46.519 --> 00:41:52.840
slot ahore dirty things like that.
That sucks that society has built that,

615
00:41:52.159 --> 00:42:00.800
you know that ideology too. So
because of that women have women are judged

616
00:42:00.920 --> 00:42:04.920
so harshly and their sexual partners they
have to be more selective. That's only

617
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:07.119
one of the reasons why don't be
more selective. But they're to be more

618
00:42:07.159 --> 00:42:08.920
selected because they don't want to look
like that. They don't want to look

619
00:42:08.920 --> 00:42:12.320
that to their friends, they don't
want to look like that to the guy.

620
00:42:12.360 --> 00:42:14.639
They don't want to look that to
themselves. So they're a little bit

621
00:42:14.679 --> 00:42:17.679
more the gatekeeper in terms of that
where a guy can just go out and

622
00:42:17.719 --> 00:42:22.440
have a bunch of sex and none
will judge him right, like at all.

623
00:42:22.599 --> 00:42:25.400
So I kind of lost my train
of thought of where I was going

624
00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:30.639
with this, but I guess,
yeah, So what I was saying in

625
00:42:30.639 --> 00:42:32.800
the beginning is so, yeah,
I don't think it's wrong to just want

626
00:42:32.800 --> 00:42:37.280
to go out and have casual sex
as long as you're doing it in a

627
00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:40.880
safe way and in a moral way. You know than by all means women

628
00:42:40.920 --> 00:42:44.360
want it, men want it.
So if you want to go out and

629
00:42:44.400 --> 00:42:49.639
do that, that's cool too.
What's interesting is I found that most guys

630
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:55.760
it feels like, how old you
guys, I'm old, I'm old.

631
00:42:55.800 --> 00:42:59.519
Be talking. I'm fifty six,
I've been married for thirty five years.

632
00:43:00.239 --> 00:43:05.440
Okay, okay, so I'm thirty
four, So I'm in there. I've

633
00:43:05.480 --> 00:43:08.000
found that and generally speaking, and
maybe you guys can speak to this that

634
00:43:08.079 --> 00:43:15.719
you're comfortable. Most guys like their
dream is this, I want to be

635
00:43:15.840 --> 00:43:22.000
able to sleep with a bunch of
women, and then once I do that

636
00:43:22.119 --> 00:43:28.079
and kind of like have my fun
and sleep with women and just enjoy casual

637
00:43:28.159 --> 00:43:32.880
sex or enjoy sexual partners and have
fun sexual experiences. I'd like to do

638
00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:38.159
that. And then after I do
that, I'd like to find a woman

639
00:43:38.599 --> 00:43:44.079
that I can do that with,
but just in a monogamous way and for

640
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:49.320
us to continue and then eventually get
married. Most guys I found land in

641
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:54.039
that category. And some guys who
say they're not in that category somehow,

642
00:43:54.119 --> 00:43:59.679
some way end of finding themselves in
that category. But my example is they

643
00:43:59.719 --> 00:44:00.880
say no, no, no,
I don't want to. I don't want

644
00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:05.199
to settle down or no, I
don't want a girlfriend. That's what they

645
00:44:05.239 --> 00:44:12.400
think now. But then eventually they
get tired of casual sex and casual partners

646
00:44:12.639 --> 00:44:15.079
and they're eventually looking for a connection. I'm not saying that's right or wrong.

647
00:44:15.119 --> 00:44:20.199
I'm not judging that that's what I'm
just saying that I found is that

648
00:44:20.199 --> 00:44:22.719
that seems to be the case,
is that it's like they want to have

649
00:44:22.800 --> 00:44:29.880
kind of their fun and quotes and
then finally settle down and have someone to

650
00:44:30.119 --> 00:44:31.400
spend a life with, you know. So I don't know if that's for

651
00:44:31.440 --> 00:44:35.360
you guys all of it. That's
something that you know, was definitely for

652
00:44:35.480 --> 00:44:40.719
me. So you totally valiated something
that he said in the first half for

653
00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:47.119
sure there because it seems pretty common
that if like if a guy gets engaged

654
00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:52.920
to a woman and then for some
reason that engagement falls out, she might

655
00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:58.880
not get involved with somebody again right
away. Very often he's married in six

656
00:44:58.960 --> 00:45:02.719
months, within six months to a
year to somebody else and is in relationship,

657
00:45:04.079 --> 00:45:07.119
you know, pretty quickly because he's
ready, this is my time,

658
00:45:07.480 --> 00:45:09.519
I'm ready to go forward. And
whether or not that's the best choust or

659
00:45:09.559 --> 00:45:14.599
not. But it's just I've seen
it so many times. Yeah, interesting,

660
00:45:15.880 --> 00:45:20.280
why don't we cap up this topic? Tell us where people can find

661
00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:25.280
you? Absolutely? I Well,
we're on a podcast, so people are

662
00:45:25.280 --> 00:45:29.679
listening, and this is a podcast. I would suggest that you check out

663
00:45:29.719 --> 00:45:32.840
my podcast if you want to learn
more about what it takes to get better

664
00:45:32.840 --> 00:45:37.639
with dating and women. My podcast
is called how to Talk to Girls.

665
00:45:37.079 --> 00:45:43.039
It is available on iTunes, on
Stitcher, on SoundCloud, on Spotify.

666
00:45:43.199 --> 00:45:46.800
There's over three hundred episodes and you
can just dive in and have a good

667
00:45:46.800 --> 00:45:53.000
time listening to interviews with me and
other experts and also just me ranting on

668
00:45:53.159 --> 00:45:59.599
topics that can help you get better
with women and meeting women and breaking through

669
00:45:59.639 --> 00:46:00.800
shine this, and things like that. So it check me on the how

670
00:46:00.800 --> 00:46:06.079
to Talk To Girls podcasts, and
if you want anything more from me,

671
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:09.079
just go to tripadvice dot com.
And tripadvice dot com is my hub.

672
00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:13.960
It's my website where you can find
links to everything else that I do,

673
00:46:14.159 --> 00:46:16.800
my book, my social media,
even my podcasts things like that. So

674
00:46:16.880 --> 00:46:21.719
trip advice dot com or how to
Talk to a Girls podcast cool. We

675
00:46:21.800 --> 00:46:22.599
will link those up in the show
notes